Like all kids born and brought up on a healthy dose of nationalism, I have always taken pride in my country - India. Though I admit as I have grown in age my optimism and confidence have taken a strong beating. This is because, when I was young I was satisfied by the next ice cream, the next chocolate or the next game of cricket. As I grew, I started to think about getting higher education, then getting a job, and now I want piece of mind (or do I? - am I not in the rat race too?)

As a 10 year old, I used to believe that the bustling traffic on Delhi’s roads was a sign that my country was progressing, that everybody hurrying to work was a good thing - everybody was doing their bit for the country, that my dad buying a new car meant my country also prospered.

When I grew a little older, I read about Utopia and heard about a guy called Plato who became famous writing about Republic. These works talked about an ideal state - just like one Tagore described in his poem:

Where the mind is without fear and the head is held high
Where knowledge is free
Where the world has not been broken up into fragments
By narrow domestic walls
Where words come out from the depth of truth
Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection
Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way
Into the dreary desert sand of dead habit
Where the mind is led forward by thee
Into ever-widening thought and action
Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake

And with all the golden ideals that we as students had been taught, the diversity of our culture that had been impressed upon us again and again in every class, and the stories of nationalism with its huge share of patriotic sacrifices and heroes that inspired us - I truly was confident that we were the best nation in the world.

But then I grew up, I started having ideas of my own, I started observing news, facts and ideas from around the world. (And of course, the world became flatter) A series of event unfolded before my eyes - the first coalition government, then another, then another (in fact one which stayed only a fortnight in power), riots in the street with Mandal commission report, demolition of Babri Masjid (that monster of religious terrorism), the ongoing rape of Kashmir, the Bombay blasts, the stock scams and the final straw was then the riots in Gujarat. Just like each crime a person commits or lie they tell leaves a scar on their self-esteem. Each of these events shook the foundations of my faith in the greatness of my country.

Maybe because we were never taught world history other than world wars, in fact even now I don’t think there is even a hint of global economics in textbooks. I had never before compared my country with others, so I went around thinking that we were indeed very close to Utopia. I do not say that my nation is worse than others, but I grieve to think that we have committed those mistakes repeated by other nations in the past - we Indians who are taught in school that we assimilate the best of all cultures - could have done better. We could have kept our eyes, ears and most importantly our minds wide open.

And now I find myself transformed into of those frustrated and disenchanted Indians, who sometimes fear that is it too late already? Can nothing be done? When I think about what could be done, I always come out with only one answer - we need a strong leader. But, maybe in this world of 21st century, the definition of a strong leader has changed - it is not about leading from the front but about leading from within, no one person can captain this change - it has to be several thousands (out of the billions we have) of inspired souls who collaborate with each other, have to take charge and get together their teams of willing and enlightened people to focus each systemic problem that we suffer from. (My strong belief is that we suffer from lack of education and closed minds the most)

Then and only then, I could find meaning in the oft repeated slogan - “Mera Bharat Mahaan”.
(My India is great)